Naruto Randomness
by animewolfreak
Summary: Includes interviews, goofs, randomness and much more!
1. Randomness

**Disclaimer – Don't own Naruto or McDonald's fries or Domino's pizza or…**

**Naruto Randomness (some are not)…**

* * *

Ino: Chouji is that my panties you have on your head? 

Chouji: It's my headband! Why?

Ino: Because I found yours.

Chouji: Crap…

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke are fighting Itachi 

Sakura thinks: Wow I never thought Itachi actually looks as cute as Sasuke!

Saskura: Hey Itachi! Um, you're cute! If you want you can use this circle on my back as a kunai target!

Itachi: Shut up... Mangekyou Sharingan

Sakura falls onto the ground in pain

Sasuke: Please teach me brother...

Itachi: Sasuke do you think it's easy to maintain the Mangekyou?

Sasuke: I think Sakura is easy!

* * *

Naruto: I bet you want to know my name right? 

Neji: No I don't

Naruto: I'll tell you anyways, I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I'm gonna be the next hokage! Hokage! Hokage! Hokage… Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!

**During their fight…**

Neji: What is this immense chakra? You should be dead already!

Naruto: You don't know me very well! Do you remember what I told you?

-Flashback-

Naruto: Ramen! Ramen! Ra----

Naruto: Not that part!

-Flashback-

Naruto: Hokage! Hokage! Hokage!

Naruto: Eh, close enough

* * *

Random voice: Neo, you're the one…. 

Shino: WTF are you talking about? I'm telling you, you got the wrong guy!

* * *

Naruto: Rasengan! 

Sakura: Whoah! How do you do that Naruto?

Naruto: Pure talent I guess.

Jiraya: Idiot! I taught you that!

* * *

Kakashi: Sasuke, you know why your body is buried in the ground right? 

Sasuke: No

Kakashi: It's because you think your superiority is greater than Naruto and Sakura

Sasuke: So?

Kakashi: Want me to teach you how to obtain the Mangekyou sharingan?

Sasuke: Yes!

Kakashi: Tough luck kid.

* * *

Kakashi: Now watch very carefully you three… 

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke: Yes sensei!

Kakashi does some hand signs

Kakashi: cat's cradle!

* * *

Deidra and Ino: I wonder if there's someone who looks like me? 

Both look at each other

Deidra: I'm you! Only I'm a guy…

Ino: And I'm you! Only I'm a girl…

Deidra and Ino: Are we related?!

* * *

Zetzu light side: I'm going to heaven… 

Zetzu dark side: And I'm going to hell…

Zetzu light side: But we have to be separated in order to do that…

Zetzu dark side: Maybe we just go to some kind of phase where you're in heaven and hell?

Zetzu light side: I think it's called purgatory…

Zetzu dark side: I think it's called Barry's Bar…

* * *

Orochimaru: Naruto, come join us… 

Naruto: Never!

Orochimaru: Don't make me kill you Naruto.

Naruto: Why should I?! You killed Sasuke!

Orochimaru takes off mask to reveal Sasuke

Sasuke: No Naruto, I'm Sasuke.

Naruto: No… It's impossible!

Sasuke: Look at the face, it's obviously me, Sasuke

Naruto: No... no… NoOoOoOoO!!!!

* * *

Genma: If you buy one of our free gi— 

Asuma: Smoke

Genma: We will gurantee a gr---

Asuma: Smoke

Genma: And shipping is fr—

Asuma: Are you smoking yet?!

* * *

Sakon: Ready you guys? 

Ukon: Triple

Jirobou: T

Tayuya: K

Kidomaru: A!

All: Time To Totally Kick Ass!

* * *

Sakura: Lee! Quick! 

Lee: Flower Blossom Nut Crunch!

Kabuto: Ow, damn that hurts…

**

* * *

Lol guess where I got the last one from, anyways, if you have any ideas you want me to post up please PM me and while you're at it. Review! (no flames) **


	2. Randomness part II

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, cuz if I did then you ppl wouldn't be watching it…**

**Naruto Randomness Part II**

* * *

Naruto: Yeah, even though Sasuke managed to whip my ass… 

Sakura: And?

Naruto: I couldn't bring him back…

Naruto: But there's good news!

Sakura: What?

Naruto: I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

xxxxx

Gaara: Kankuro, for once can you NOT wear your face paint?!

Kankuro: Well, at least I don't wear friggin' eyeliner!

Gaara: I don't!

Temari: Gaara, would you please stop stealing my eyeliner!

xxxxx

Kisame: I am the terror that lurks in your bathtub…

Itachi: Kisame! Get the hell outta my bathroom!

xxxxx

Announcer: People always tell you to drink your milk, but do you know why?

Zabuza: Because a person like me has grown manly because of drinking milk!

Real men wear cow colored clothes

xxxxx

Neji: Naruto give me your friggin' lunch money!

Naruto: As if! You know how many trees they killed to make money?

Neji:…

Neji: Fine… I'll go torture some other blonde kid… oh.. my bad.. there's only ONE!

xxxxx

Sasuke: What is this? Naruto! Help me!

Naruto: What is it Sasuke?!

Sasuke: I'm…… feeling!

xxxxx

Shikamaru: Shock!

Ino: Shock!

Tenten: Shock!

Lee: Shock!

Shino: Shino

xxxxx

Itachi: Why are you weak Sasuke?

Itachi: You're weak because you lack…..skittles.

xxxxx

Commercial: Can Neji see why these kids love these cinnamon toast crunch?

Neji: Because they were destined to?

Kids: Because there's cinnamon swirls in every bite!

xxxxx

Sakura: Ready Kiba? Peeeanuuuut, Peanut butter and..

Kiba: Mayo!

xxxxx

Asuma: Chouji, I have special news for you…

Chouji: This doesn't sound good…

Asuma: You're going on a diet!

_A day passes by…_

Chouji: Asuma, I don't feel good….

Asuma: I'll take you to Tsunade! She's just a jump away!

_At the hospital…_

Asuma: So how is he Tsunade-sama?

Tsunade: This boy is suffering from fat withdrawal, yeast withdrawal, calorie withdrawal…

Chouji: withdrawal, withdrawal, withdrawal…

Asuma: So what do you suggest?

Tsunade: I can give him this shot of vitamins to perk him up.

Chouji: Um… wait!!! -starts dancing on table- I feel pretty perked up!

Asuma: Wow, does that work all the time?

Tsunade: Yeah, you know how people are with their shots.

**

* * *

Alright, I had total writer's block, but don't blame me, blame the terrible jokes (o.O) **


	3. We've been Englished!

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto x infinite!**

**We've been English-ed!**

* * *

Naruto: Hey you guys! Believe it! 

Sasuke: Believe what loser?

Sakura: Wow my voice is weird!

Kakashi: Yo! What do you want us to believe Naruto?

Naruto: It's those stupid English subs! Believe it!

Kiba: Man this is a bunch of _berries!_

Hinata: What do you think happened?

Shino: 'whispers' we've been English-ed

Kurenai: I talk too smooth for a woman….

Neji: What do you want?

Tenten: Why aren't we saying –san, -chan- or –kun after people's names?

Lee: It's just like Shino said, we've been English-ed

Gai: How's life going for you kids?!

Shikamaru: Such a drag… Oh no! I'm not saying troublesome! Ugh… such a drag…

Ino: I have to agree with Sakura! We girls kinda sound like we inhaled helium!

Chouji: I think I sound ok….

Asuma: 'monotone' I think this is weird….

Orochimaru: And I thought I already looked bad enough… now I sound like a frog slipped down my throat

Kabuto: It's not that bad Orochimaru-sama, you could've been voiced by Michael Jackson

Orochimaru shudders: Yeah… you're right!

Jiroubu: Crap now I sound like Barney!

Sakon: Why is my voice feminine?!

Ukon: And me!

Tayuya: Why don't you shut the _flip_ up you son of a _bridge_!

Kidoumaru: Aw man! We can't swear 'cause it's a kiddie show!!!!

Kankuro: Dude, it's like what that kid said, we've been English-ed!

Gaara: My voice is so _dad_ low I can barely hear myself!

Temari: What?! I can't hear you Gaara! Speak louder!

Leader of Akatsuki: Do you think my cloak makes my body look big?

Hidan: _Dad_ it! I can't believe we have to _flippin'_ talk like this the entire_ dad_ show! I mean, come on! _Jesus_! Crap now I can't even say my god's name?! _Sack_ you people!

**

* * *

I'm probably missing out a lot of characters but don't blame me, I did this at around 2:00 in the morning so… plz review (no flames) **


	4. Interviews Part I

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto**

**Behind the scenes Part I – Some of the Naruto characters being interviewed….**

* * *

Interviewer: So, Sasuke Uchiha, they say that one your jutsus is fire, right? 

Sasuke: That's correct.

Interviewer: So how do you produce such realistic fires?

Sasuke: Well, in some scenes I drink some booze and I "expertly" keep the cigarette lighter hidden behind my fingers and voila! Instant fireball! Plus I sometimes have a stunt double to do the more realistic fireballs…

Interviewer thinks: Ugh, all I have in my notes are just doodles… Oh, I think he's finished I'll ask him another question…

Interviewer: And how do you "activate" the sharingan?

Sasuke: Obviously I can't but in some scenes they make me put on contacts and they're really cool, especially the part where I earn my third tomoe, that one had to be computer generated and---

Interviewer thinks: Blah blah blah! God why do I have such a lousy job?!

Sasuke: I love to see how those people make money from buying my sharingan contacts!

Interviewer: Uhm… very interesting…

Sasuke: I know right!

* * *

Interviewer: Ok, Zabuza Momochi and Haku, since you two had such a short appearance in the first couple of episodes, how did you enjoy your short-lived acting? 

Haku: It felt great! Even though people mistook me as a girl at first, the guys in the cast were mistaken too. There was this one guy who rammed into me by mistake and felt something that was completely unnecessary to a girl… but anyways… here's a secret from me to you… 'whispers' I'm actually both…yeah….

Interviewer and audience: (O.o) (O.O) (o.O) 'thinks' wow… utterly disturbing…

Zabuza: It was friggin' awesome! The styrofoam sword that they made seemed so damn realistic! When I wore those cow arm warmers or whatever they're called, I got a rash soon after! That's why I had to try over 100 different brands and when I was finished I had to stick with the soft, velvet ones –even though they look rough in the series-…

Interviewer wakes up: Oh! Um… you're allergic to cow?

* * *

Interviewer: Naruto Uzumaki, soon-to-be hokage and stuff… why are you considered as a hyperactive ninja? 

Naruto: That's 'cause I'm like that, ok?! God! Why do you people jump into conclusions?!

Interviewer: Careful... Don't wanna go into that stage now do we? 'hides behind chair'

Naruto: You're right, 'cause if I wreck your studio, it's your fault, not mine. I'm pretty emotional and you're just… a… reporter….

Interviewer: I'm not a friggin reporter! I'm an interviewer! You're the one jumping into conclusions!

Naruto: Oh yeah! Why don't you try some of this bleep!

Interviewer: Yeah! Bring it on shorty!

Camera guy: Cut!! Cu--- oh crap he's turning into it he's gonna kill us a---

* * *

Interviewer: Ino Yamanaka and Sakura um… 

Ino: Ha! See Sakura! I told you he'd remember my last name!

Sakura: That's because my last name was never mentioned in the series Ino-pig!

Interviewer: Whoa, calm down girls, lets not turn this into a Jerry Springer show…

Both: What's Jerry Springer?

Interviewer: Oh right… anyways, how is the rivalry between you two important to the show?

Ino: We don't know, it's just part of the script, but we actually were like this before the show and that's why the acting in the show is so well-done thanks to me!

Sakura: Thanks to you! You good for nothi---

* * *

Interviewer: Um… Chouji Akamichi…. Do you feel concerned about your weight at all? 

Chouji 'smiles': No… not at all… 'starts to get mad' I like it when people call me fatty or steal my last potato chip!!!!

Interviewer: Ok, I think you need to get some counseling there… fatty.

Chouji: 'twitches' What did you call me!

Interviewer: Wait! I didn't mean it! I di---- 'spots a potato chip' Oh! I think this is the last potato chip! Looks good! 'munches on it'

Chouji: OK!!! THAT'S IT!!!!

* * *

Interviewer now covered head to toe with casts: You, Shikamaru Nara, do you think you play a huge role in the show? 

Shikamaru: Yes, because without my intellect they would be a sad bunch of little ninjas… 'sigh' so troublesome….

Interviewer: I know what you mean…. 'thinks about casts on himself' so troublesome….

Shikamaru: 'in a very bored voice' Troublesome….

Interviewer: Oh, now you want a battle? Fine!

Shikamaru: Don't make me use my Shadow Possession Jutsu…

Interviewer: I'd like to see you do it!

Shikamaru: Ok, you asked for it….

Interviewer: Damn… this feeling… I can't move!

Shikamaru: Now let's play chicken now shall we? 'gets out a shuriken'

Interviewer: crap! I remember this scene! 'gets out a pocketknife'

Shikamaru throws shuriken and leans back when the pocketknife reaches close to his head

Interviewer leans back and hits the wall, falling into a state of unconsciousness

Camera guy: 'sigh' not again… so troublesome….

* * *

Interviewer: Stupid damn kids, I'm lucky to be alive… anyways, Neji and Hinata Hyuuga, how do you have byakugans? 

Neji: It's so obvious! How can you explain it? Lets see… we wear contacts and when we summon they just computer generate it! Just like Sasuke Uchiha!

Hinata: Y-yes, that's how they do it with us…

Neji: 'whispers' say something more interesting Hinata-sama

Hinata: um… I like hot dogs…

Neji slaps forehead

Interviewer: I hate my job…

* * *

Interviewer: Ok… I'm getting nowhere in my interviews… um… Rock Lee? 

Lee: Yes!

Interviewer: What do you like to do?

Lee: Enjoying my great youthfulness! Training with Gai-sensei makes it even better!!!

'Gai comes in'

Gai: Oh there you are Lee! What are you doing with these people? Oh! I know! You've gotten popular!!!!

'both start running towards each other'

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!!!

Gai: Lee!!!!!

'both hug each other and a sea scene appears in the background'

Interviewer: …

* * *

**Ok this is just part 1 of the behind the scenes, I'll try to post up the second part soon… So plz review! (no flames)**


	5. Interviews Part II

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto**

**Behind the Scenes Part II – more Naruto characters being interviewed**

* * *

Interviewer: So Tenten, I heard that you don't have a background story in the anime just yet… why do think? 

Tenten: I don't know, but I know I get to use those awesome weapons!

Interviewer: Did you by any chances, hit anyone with those weapons?

Tenten: Duh, they're only styrofoam!

Interviewer thinks: Riiiiiight…

* * *

Interviewer: Kiba and Akamaru, I thought you two were brothers when you came in… 

Kiba: What?!

Akamaru: bark!

Interviewer: Oh nothing. So how did you two first meet?

Kiba: Oh that was the greatest day of my young life!!!

Akamaru: Bark! Bark bark woof!

Kiba: I know Akamaru! It was totally great!

Interviewer: Um… I don't understand a single word that dog said but, do you know that you look kind of like Kyo in Fruits Basket? 'shows picture'

Kiba: Whoah! Yeah! I do!!!

Akamaru: Bark!

Interviewer: And the thing is that he turns into a cat when hugged by the opposite sex.

Kiba: … really? I gotta meet this guy! 'runs out of studio'

Interviewer: Ok… uhm… it was great meeting you….

* * *

Interviewer: Shino Aburame! What do you have in mind for us today? 

Shino: ...

Interviewer: Do you like interacting with other characters on Naruto?

Shino: ...no...

Interviewer: Um, what is your main purpose in life?

Shino: To destroy all bug spray brands!!!

Interviewer: What about your sunglasses? Do you ever take them off?

Shino: No, not even when it's dark outside

Interviewer: Even when you go swimming?! How the heck does it stay on?!

Shino holds Elmer's glue: A little glue doesn't hurt.

Interviewer: Doesn't it come off easily though? You probably should try 'holds up superstrong glue' this brand!

Shino and interviewer thumbs up: Go buy your glue today!

* * *

Interviewer: Hi there Kakashi Hatake... what kind of book are you reading? 

Kakashi: Icha Icha Paradise... why?

Interviewer: Just asking... can I read some parts?

Kakashi: If you can handle it.

Interviewer reads the book and gets a nosebleed

Asuma: That's why you never trust Kakashi with those books, I mean, he never puts them down!

Interviewer: Where the heck did you come from?!

Asuma points to door: Over there

Kurenai: Asuma, you left your underwear in my house

Interviewer and Kakashi: (O.O)

Genma: Ooooh, guess you and Kurenai got busy Asuma?

Asuma: Aw shut up Genma!

Gai: Never be embarassed about youth!

Genma: Don't you even know you're 14 years older than your youth?

Gai: No! I may look old but I'm really 14!

Everybody: (O.O)

* * *

Interviewer: OMG! Michael Jackson! 

Kabuto: It's Orochimaru-sama you idiot!

Orochimaru: Don't worry Kabuto, this man here looks powerful enough to be my new _cough_ container.

Interviewer: Oh man I liked you in Thriller!

Orochimaru: Oh yes… Thriller… 'thinks' WTF is that anyway?

Interviewer: Do you think you can show some dance moves?

Orochimaru: Um… um… um…. 'does a little hip shake'

Interviewer: Man! I thought you were better than that!

Orochimaru: Ah screw it! Kabuto! Kill this man!

Kabuto cracks knuckles

Interviewer: Oh crap…

* * *

**Now with the Akatsuki group!!!**

Interviewer: Why do you guys like, meet in the dark?

Akatsuki leader: Just because we want to…

Tobi: It's because we're albinos!!!

Deidra: Idiot! You don't even know what that word means do you?!

Itachi: My brother seeks revenge on me….

Kisame: I wanna watch those sharks and just see how they live their lifestyle…

Sasori: Ooooh! Beware my creepy puppets!!! 'Aren't I dead anyways?'

Orochimaru: What am I doing here?!

Hidan: I'm immortal!!! I rule the world!!!!

Kakuzu 'stands in front of Zetzu drunkenly' Money money money… 'high pitched voice' MONEY!

Zetzu light side: Dude… you're like… peeing on me…

Zetzu dark side: Join the Dark Force, Anakin Skywalker….

Interviewer: Isn't that quote from Star Wars?

* * *

**Sorry if that was short, I had a terrible case of writer's block so I did this as I go along…**


	6. Random Naruto stories 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, but the stories I make up, yes…**

**Random Naruto Story #1**

* * *

_The rookie 9 and Gai's team were in Neji and Hinata's house taking turns with the 8 ball…_

Naruto: Oh wise and magic 8 ball…. Will I ever get a lifetime supply of ramen?

- maybe

Naruto smiles and hugs it then dances around the room making everyone sweatdrop.

xxxxxx

Sakura: Will I ever get to date with Sasuke Uchiha?

- please try again

Sakura: Will I date Sasuke?

- no

Sakura: Will I date Sasuke?

-no

Sakura: Will I NOT date Sasuke?

- yes

Sakura: NOOOOO!!!!

xxxxx

Sasuke: Will I ever achieve the ultimate power?

- what?

Sasuke twitches

xxxxx

Ino: Will I be fat?

- depends

Ino gasps and stops eating the bag of chips

xxxxx

Chouji: Will I be skinny?

- you were, remember?

Chouji: Oh yeah!

xxxxx

Shikamaru: I'm too lazy too shake this ball.

- And I'm too lazy to think of other words for this group of people

Shikamaru: …

xxxxx

Shino: …

-…

Shino shakes the ball

- you win $1 million dollars!

Shino: REALLY?!

- no

xxxxx

Kiba: Hey Akamaru! Fetch!

- hey I'm no ball!

Kiba: It talks! Cool! What other things can you do?

- please try again

xxxxx

Hinata: Um, will this one person like me back?

- well stop being so hesitant!

Hinata: That's a strange answer…

- I know….

xxxxx

Neji: Is destiny linked to one's fate?

- If you believe in me, I will consider your fate.

Neji gasps: Will I ever get married?!

- I thought you were gonna ask a better question!

Neji: I am! It's very important to me!

- ok, maybe…

xxxxx

Tenten: Will I ever be rich?

- you wish

Tenten: Awww

xxxxx

Lee: Will Sakura like me back?

- come on I'm not your everyday Cupid!

Lee: But you are an 8 ball! You know all there is!

- ok then, were you born with those thick eyebrows or did you steal them from Gaara?

Lee: What?! But bu—

- exactly

**

* * *

And there are more short stories to come! Where are my reviews people?! **


	7. Random Naruto stories 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, isn't it that obvious?!**

**Naruto stories #2**

* * *

Naruto is desperate for Sakura to be his valentine so he seeks the master of lovemaking (no not THAT lovemaking)… 

"Kakashi-senseeeei!" Naruto yelled. Kakashi looks Naruto straight in the eye and asks,

"Are you trying to get my book again?" Naruto shakes his head, "No sensei, I need your

help in getting Sakura!" "Alright then Naruto, I doubt this would help but I'm willing to take this in consideration." Kakashi then whispers

in Naruto's ear. "Um sensei, you're just saying "whisper, whisper, whisper" in my ear."

After organizing the plan, Naruto looks for Sakura and finds her on the bridge sadly looking out into the river. Naruto yells out, "Heeeey

Sakura!" Sakura just looks at Naruto and wishes it was Sasuke yelling out her name."Hey Sakura I need to show you something, meet

me near the cliffs at 6:00. See ya!" Naruto waves wildly and trips on a root. Sakura thinks, "Nice move Naruto."

_6:00 near the cliffs…_

Sakura arrives and sees Naruto dressed somewhat formally. "Ugh, another one of Naruto's desperate plan to go out with me." Sakura

thinks shaking her head. Naruto grins like a Cheshire cat when he sees Sakura. "Hey Sakura," Naruto said shyly, "I thought you weren't

going to be able to come…" "Just get straight to the point Naruto." Sakura said. "Sakura, I'm going to prove my feelings to you and to

do just that, I want you to look out beyond this cliff and tell me what you see." Sakura does as he tells her and is shocked by the beauty.

"Naruto… the mountains, rivers, trees, little squirrels, and little specks of dusts are wonderful!" She turns to Naruto who sprayed

something into his mouth and quickly puts it away. "Yeah…" Both of them move forward so closely together and then… Naruto pushes

Sakura off the cliff! "NARUTOOOO!!!!" Sakura screams. Kakashi jumps out of the bushes and looks at Naruto in fear, "Naruto, what

did you just do?!" "I'm doing what you told me to do sensei!" Naruto yells, "You told me to push her off the cliff!" Kakashi slaps his

forehead, "No you stupid little idiot! I told you to GIVE HER A KISS!" Naruto winced, "Whoops… heh heh…" Sakura then comes

out of nowhere and punches Naruto with her inhuman strength. "Ah! Sakura's ghost came to haunt me!" Naruto yells in fright. "No you

stupid! I used a replacement! I knew I shouldn't trust you with risky situations!" Kakashi looks at both of them and hoping to make the

situation better he said, "To be honest Sakura, all Naruto wants you to do, is to be his valentine." Sakura gives Naruto a look and

through clenched teeth says, "Ok Naruto I'll give you a valentine present…" Naruto's face lit up with these words. Sakura looks deep

into Naruto's face, making him sweat with nervousness. Then… she pushes him off the cliff! "SAKURAAAA!!!" Naruto screams.

Kakashi and Sakura scream back at him, "Happy April Fool's Day!!!"

Naruto: WTF?!

**

* * *

I know, strange ending, but please bear with me. What happened to the reviews?! I give lots of thanks to Artemis85 and whitney-young-animefan (my greatest friend ever!) for their reviews. Thanks you guys! **


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